What to to at Walmart when you’re Bored

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares, “and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

6. Move a “CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you’ll invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9. Look right into the security camera. Use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while. Then, yell very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

TEE HEE

OH MY GOODNESS.

Ok, if you are a bird lover, I would suggest not reading this.

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He
stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he
said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the
hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ”Here,” she said, handling
him his pack of cigarettes. ”I found them in the hallway.”
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All I will say is this;

You know it is Nokesville when the horses are so well trained
and…Nokesvillish that when your driving down the road behind a horse
trailer, the horse sticks it’s butt over the railing and does his
business all down 28.

OH MY GOODNESS.

Hey ya’ll! I’m updating because I’ve added a game arcade to the bottom
of the page! Just keep scrolling, just keep scrolling….tee hee. I
played the solitaire and it’s really fun! Try it!

I have a basketball game today, so excited!!! But keri told me I had to
do my chores first but I just said “Poo on you!” because I have to
clean my parent’s bathroom as one of my chores and it is unpleasant in
gargantuan porportions. Especially on my dad’s side. Yuck. Anywho. Talk
later.

Tee hee.

We had a pasta type substance and green beans for dinner. Keri had to
clear the table after dinner. However, she also had to put away any
leftovers, and there were about ten green beans left, not enough to put
in a container to save for later. As she turned her head around to
think of where she could dispose of these beans, she spied me sitting
at my moms desk writing. The perfect prey.

“Open the tuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnelll!” She called, scooping the beans
onto a spoon and making it fly around in circles near my face.

And so, for the next half hour, she chased me around the house saying

“They’re nice cold, green beans!”

“Open the tunnel for the for the rowboat!”

“Here comes the choo choo train! chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo!!!”

In the end my mummsy made her throw them away, but not before we were both panting and out of breath.

Tee hee.

P.S. – I went and saw the fourth movie. Didn’t really like it, if you
want the whole story email me….my reasons for disliking it are very
long ^_^

STORY TIME!!! YIPPEE! Okay, Everyone get out of your chair and sit
indian syle/pretzel/cross legged/criss-cross-applesauce  on the floor. Sorry there’s no
pictures, but you can use your imagination, right?

Once upon a time in a land far away, there were 4 children; their names
were, Keri – age 14, Hannah- age 12, Lindsey- age 6, and Jared- aged 4.
(Lindsey and Jared are brother and sister) One day these children were
playing outside on their bikes, or, as they called them, their cars. It
was like a play game of life. Everything was paid for in pennies. (not
really but oh well.)Jared owned a movie theatre that was playing
spiderman 2 and “The Magic of Pegasus” (Keri drew spiderman for jared
but when she asked what she should draw for ”The Magic of Pegasus”  Lindsey said “You
can just draw a Princess holding a baby polar bear!” but keri said she would
just draw a crown and lindsey said “No, you can draw a baby polar bear holding
a crown .” Has anyone seen this? If you have please tell me what it is
REALLY about…I’m curious to see how she got a polar bear out of
Pegasus…) Lindsey owned a hot tub. Keri owned the gast station and
the resturant where she sold pretzels and little bathroom cups full of
water. And I, the star of the show, was the police officer, who made
sure nobody stole stuff or went too fast. Of course, Lindsey made this
VERY interesting.

    About 2 seconds into the game I am “driving” behind
Lindsey. She looks thoughtfull for a minute, then goes onto the grass
with her bike, lays down, and starts screaming in a play- mockfull
voice “OFFICER! OFFICER! HELP! I’M IN CAR ACCIDENT!” So I chuckled under
my breath and went over to her. I asked her her name, address, blah blah
blah but while I was doing this Keri saw what happened and ran over. She
pretended to go into shock and was  like “MY BABY MY BABY!” and
she picked up a couple red leaves from the yard and put it on Lindsey’s leg, making it look like blood.

    About 4 seconds later after she got out of the
hospital, I was buying pretzels from Keri when Lindsey ran down the
Driveway screaming “OFFICER! OFFICER!” I rolled my eyes and walked over
to her.
“A man just shot my dog!” she said.
“Really? I’ll need your information. What was your dog’s name?”
“Uhhh…Odis.”
“What kind of dog was he?”
“He looks like a baby bulldog, but he’s not.”
“And what did the man who shot him look like?”
“Uhhh…he was wearing a black shirt, and black pants and a black hat ….and he looked like a robber! “

     Another 4 seconds later Lindsey started
screaming, “I’M IN A CAR ACCIDENT!” But I was kinda tired of her so I
pretended not to hear. That’s a good police officer for ya. ^_^

    Next, and this is the best one, Lindsey ran up to me
screaming “OFFICER OFFICER OFFICER! MY HOUSE IS GONE! AND THERE IS A
BLACK BANDANA WHERE IT USED TO BE!” I said, “What did the man look
like?” She replied…”He was wearing a black hat and black pants
and…oh wait! THAT’S HIM!” she pointed to Jared.

I think someone has been watching a leetle too much t.v.

Okay. This is the last thing.

Today in church Grayson (6?…maybe7?)  gave Keri a fortune teller that Brooklyn (8 or 9) had
made. Guess what the fortunes were? And I haven’t changed any of the
spelling, just sos you know.

1-   none

2-    none

3-    you will be a celabrity 

4-   none

5-   you will be famous and true to your self

6-   none

7-   you will be known for your cooking and your happieness

8-   none

9-   you will be a millionaire

10-   none

11-   you will live a happy life

12-   none

13-   you will have the car of your dream

15-   you will live a life that you will love and charish

Tee hee. Have a nice day.